Why You’ll Never Hear Me Say “Good Vibes Only”

A reflection on inclusivity, authenticity, and making space for all of us.

This morning, via Facebook, I came across a beautiful offering — a free wellbeing, yoga, and mindfulness day for teenagers, organised by a local council. It looked so beautiful: calm colours, nurturing activities, an open-hearted invitation to pause and reset.

But emblazoned across the top of the advert, in bold, playful letters, was the phrase: Good Vibes Only. And something in me recoiled. A subtle tightening in the chest. A quiet voice whispering, Not quite.

It wasn’t the intention, I’m sure — the people behind the event were clearly coming from a place of great care and kindness. And yet the words felt jarring. Not because I don’t believe in joy, or light, or the power of intention — but because this phrase, however unconsciously, can feel exclusive. Silencing. Even shaming.

Before I go any further, I want to say this with honesty and care: I have said things I wouldn’t say now. I have probably repeated phrases that were en vogue or well-meaning without fully understanding the impact they might have had. And I know I’ll keep getting things wrong — because I’m still learning, as we all are. This isn’t about being ‘right’. It’s not about perfection. It’s just a reflection — an offering — from where I am now, shared with kindness and humility, never with judgement.

When Positivity Becomes a Wall

At face value, Good vibes only sounds so inviting. Who wouldn’t want to feel good? Who wouldn’t choose joy over sorrow if it were that simple?

But the truth is — it’s not that simple.

Human beings are gloriously, tenderly complex. We carry multitudes within us. We cry in the middle of laughter. We smile with broken hearts. We show up to yoga with grief tucked under our ribs. We carry trauma in our bodies, stories in our nervous systems, and wounds that don’t always show on the surface.

To insist on only good vibes is to imply that there is something wrong — or unwelcome — about sadness, anger, anxiety, fatigue, or fear. And that, for many of us, can feel like being shut out. Or being asked to pretend.

It can become a form of toxic positivity: a subtle message that says, Don’t bring your shadows here. Don’t be messy. Don’t be real. And in healing spaces — in yoga studios, therapy rooms, women's circles, support groups — that can do real harm.

A Trauma-Informed Lens

When I hold space for others, I always assume that I'm holding space for people who are navigating heartbreak, loss, illness, burnout, or deep overwhelm. And I believe that healing doesn't come from being told to feel better. It comes from being met exactly where we are — and knowing we are still worthy of belonging.

The phrase Good vibes only can unintentionally invalidate real emotional experience. It risks suggesting that anything other than lightness is a burden — that “bad vibes” are somehow contagious, disruptive, or unspiritual. But what if, instead, we saw all emotion as sacred? What if we recognised that sorrow, anger, grief, and confusion are just as human — and just as worthy — as joy?

The Spaces I Want to Hold

I don’t want to hold spaces where people feel they have to smile through their pain. I want to hold spaces where someone can arrive crying and still be welcomed with warmth. Where someone can say “I don’t feel okay today” and no one tries to fix them — they simply sit beside them. Because that, to me, is what real wellness looks like.

It isn’t a glow. It’s a grounding. A coming-home to the truth of our experience — whatever that may be.

This is, at its heart, a practice of Ahimsa — the yogic principle of non-harming. Ahimsa isn’t just about avoiding violence or cruelty towards others. It’s about creating a world where people aren’t harmed by silence, exclusion, or the pressure to pretend. It asks us to speak and act in ways that honour tenderness — especially when that tenderness is raw.

From this lens, slogans like Good Vibes Only can unintentionally become a form of subtle harm. They suggest that uncomfortable feelings have no place here. But yoga, in its truest sense, asks us to sit with discomfort. To notice, rather than avoid. To include, rather than exclude.

Satya (truthfulness) reminds us to be honest about our lived experiences — even when they’re messy or difficult. Santosha (contentment) invites us to accept what is, without needing to sugar-coat it. And Svadhyaya (self-study) encourages us to reflect deeply on the patterns and beliefs we carry — including the ones we repeat without question.

So no, I won’t ever say good vibes only. I will say:

• All of you is welcome here.

• There’s no emotional dress code.

• You don’t have to pretend.

• We can hold both pain and peace in the same circle.

  
  

An Invitation, Not a Criticism

If Good vibes only has been your motto, your affirmation, your safe place — I see you. I understand the desire beneath it. Life can be unbearably heavy, and sometimes we need to focus on the light. We need reminders of beauty and hope. That isn’t wrong.

But what I’m offering here is simply a widening of the path. A reminder that we don’t have to feel good to be good. That we don’t have to be shiny to be sacred. That we can build spaces that make room for all of our humanity — not just the curated parts.

Let’s go deeper than good vibes. Let’s go towards truth. Let’s make space for the whole messy miracle of being human.

Vicki x